My Wife And Kids
Four Lifestyle Tweaks For The New Year
As 2009 came to a close, I intentionally avoided the usual resolution-setting process most people go through on New Year’s Eve. Instead, this year I am simply making a few minor lifestyle tweaks that should help me reach my larger goals, but not require the usual Herculean effort that seems to set me up for failure time and time again.
This is basically the same approach I am taking to a variety of challenges, from losing weight to reaching a six-figure savings goal – even improving my energy levels. These are rather nebulous goals on their own, and we all know the importance of declaring SMART goals to have success. So my “everyday” goals will be very specific, actionable things I can do each day to move me towards the larger goals. Each goal has a very definite success or failure measurement – I can either put an “X” on the calendar or I can’t, depending on my completion of the goal.
Lifestyle Tweak #1: Get Eight Hours of Sleep Each Night
Some hardcore business types will tell you sleep is overrated. I used to believe that myself, spending late nights and early mornings banging away on a keyboard while passing on restorative sleep. Over time, this behavior takes a toll. Never mind the mounting evidence that lack of sleep is tied to things like obesity, heart disease, and other unsavory conditions, but for me personally lack of sleep leaves me feeling foggy, mentally, for much of the next day.
Repeated sleepless nights leave me in a permanent fog – lacking motivation, energy and mental clarity required for both my full-time job and my writing endeavors. More importantly, it turns me into a real grouch, which negatively affects my wife and kids.
Action Statement: I will retire to bed each night by 9:00pm. Why so early? You’ll see why when I mention the next lifestyle tweak. This one will be tough for a recovering insomniac with two small kids and many activities filling my after-work schedule the next few months.
Lifestyle Tweak #2: At Least One Hour of Physical Activity Each Day
Ideally, I’d like to do more, but I know myself, and extending this goal any further would likely lead to failure more times than not. In this case, I’ll set myself up for success and leave it at one hour. The benefits are obvious: improved physical condition, more energy, ease of sticking to my pseudo caveman diet plan, etc. But another intangible benefit comes from hitting this goal. I need a little “me” time.
Working in an office all day surrounded by coworkers, and coming home to a house filled with a wife, two kids and an attention-hungry dog leave little time for me. Is that selfish? Yes, but in this case it is a healthy selfishness because I think everyone needs a little “me” time.
Action Statement: I will visit the gym each morning at 5:15am and work out for one hour. Hopefully, I’ll be doing this on 8 hours of sleep, so getting up this early should not be too much of a struggle. As the weather warms I’ll alternate gym days with outside days because I much prefer being outside early in the mornings.
Lifestyle Tweak #3: Have a More Positive Attitude
I confess – I am too critical. I spend too much life energy being negative. Some days the political climate, or the economy, or some local event just puts me in a bad mood. Going forward, I plan on being a more positive person – less critical of others, less negative about the future, more thankful for today.
It is hard not to get down, and you don’t have to look far for others to help you get there. The endless news cycle of negativity, the popularity of bashing others, condemning success, etc. provides plenty of fuel for negative attitudes.
Action Statement: I will give at least three compliments each day. The first three will be at home as I will make it a habit to give a genuine compliment to each family member at some point during the day. From there, I will extend a compliment to a coworker (work related, of course), and maybe a strange or two. I know this might sound a little silly, but when you think about it, it’s hard to find something positive to say to someone else without having a positive attitude.
Lifestyle Tweak #4: Create More Family Memories
Last year was a tough one. My mom had a stroke in August of 2008, and passed away last September after a long attempted recovery. We spent a lot of time caring for her both in the hospital (she spent about 150 days in the hospital and rehabilitation facility in that year) and at home. The entire experience left us drained, mentally, physically and emotionally.
We also spent much of that time fighting like crazy to become debt free. We skipped vacations, lived ultra-frugal, and worked a lot of hours to earn extra income to put towards debt. The days seemed to pass by without many milestones or events etched into our memory banks. Looking back, it seems like we lost an entire year, which makes this year’s goal that much more important.
Action Statement: We will take two family vacations this year, and a number of mini-vacations throughout the year. Our last family vacation was October of 2007, when my mom was still healthy. We spent a week in a mountain-side cabin in the Smoky Mountains. I had no internet connection, cell coverage was spotty, and we barely turned on the television: it was bliss! At the time, we planned to make it annual event. And even though Mom is gone now, we are dedicated to taking more time off as a family, whether it be a week-long, full-fledged vacation, or a short, frugal camping trip to a nearby state park. The objective is to get away from the “noise” of daily life and enjoy time as a family, creating memories that will last a lifetime.
So there it is, four seemingly simple lifestyle tweaks for the Frugal family in 2010. I’ll periodically follow up on these mini-goals throughout the year. Hopefully, they will be more apparent in my writing as I share stories about traveling, losing weight and looking at things through a more positive filter.
Post by Frugal Dad
Frugal Living Is Not A Competition
What a difference a few decades makes! In the 1980’s capitalism was on the march as many technological advances were made. An entrepreneurial spirit spread across the country. That carried over into the 1990’s, and went into overdrive in the mid-to-late 90’s, where there were plenty of examples of on-paper employee millionaires thanks to hot IPOs, and “irrational exuberance” in the technology sector, particularly biotech companies.
Throughout this period the idea of frugal living was but an after thought, and those who practiced it were made fun of mercilessly. We were labeled tightwads, cheapskates, and other not-so-polite terms of fiscal endearment. After all, people were too busy comparing their net worth to try to save a buck.
Enter the recession of 2008. Suddenly, frugal living made a comeback. It seemed the cover story of every major media publication featured some variation of “ways to save money” or “ways to survive the recession,” or proclaimed the reemergence of frugality. Now (some of) those same people scrambling for bigger houses, fancier cars and higher capital gains are trying to out-do one another again by scrimping, sacrificing, and poking fun at people’s purchases. Nothing is ever frugal enough.
Sometimes the act of scaling back is traumatic enough to a family’s finances–cutting things altogether would send them over the edge. Take my family for instance. Last year we decided to go one year without expanded cable television service. I wanted to cancel completely. My wife and kids pointed out the number of educational shows we could watch on PBS, and the poor signal reception we would get from an antennae. We compromised, and decided to drop back to basic cable, reducing our cable bill from $46 a month to $12 a month. We made similar compromises in other areas of our budget. At the end of the year, we decided to resume expanded cable and cut other subscriptions and forms of entertainment.
Here lately, I’ve noticed a shift in public sentiment towards frugality, and I suspect it may be a form of frugal burnout. When people get burned out with a trend in their own lives, they tend to resent others who they perceive to be sacrificing less than them. Many people are made to feel guilty if they are not practicing a frugal lifestyle. Others are so condemned for spending money that they are literally ashamed to be seen with bags from high-end stores. Give me a break. Have we really come to that?
First of all, frugality is not a competition. People have different levels of tolerance for all things frugal. Some people like air conditioning, others enjoy working on classic cars. They choose to spend their money on things that others perceive to be frivolous. But that is simply a personal opinion, and how you choose to spend your money says more about your personal values than your level of commitment to the frugal living movement.
Of course, many of us practice frugality for reasons besides monetary gain. We enjoy simple living, and believe in being wise stewards of resources (natural, economic, etc.). But what you choose to do with your money is up to you. Bottom line: Please don’t become a self-righteous frugalist!
Post from: Frugal Dad
Weekly Roundup - Spring Break Edition
Nothing like another Spring Break vacation at home. I’ve grown weary of the term “staycation,” so I refuse to call it that this year. With all that has been going on with us personally we decided it didn’t make sense to spend the money to head out on a vacation this year. I’ve already started a vacation fund for next year though, because I don’t think my wife and kids will let us get away with another year at home!
The Fab Five
Save Money at Baseball Games. We’re headed to a spring football game this weekend, and I’ll plan to apply many of these great tips. The only caveat, I’ll have to spring for a bag of spicy boiled peanuts and an ice cold Coca Cola. Sorry, but it’s a tradition! (@Lazy Man and Money)
How Do You Know When You Have Enough? I really enjoyed this post, especially the section, “Four Qualities of Enoughness.” Recognizing you have reached “enough” is a fundamental milestone in leading a frugal lifestyle. Without reaching contentment you will constantly want more and more stuff. (@My Two Dollars)
Living Your Passion: What It Takes To Be An Entrepreneur. Jeff does a powerful job of breaking down the main ingredient required - G.R.I.T. Read on to find what the letters stand for, and then act on them to live your passion. (@My Super-Charged Life)
Nine Pieces of Software I Use Every Day. I resisted using Tweetdeck until reading this endorsement from Trent. I’m glad I did. It makes following a large number of Twitter users much easier to manage. Several other nuggets in this article, too! (@The Simple Dollar)
Taking Control of Your Life By Finding Balance. Enjoyed this article and the ideas presented, particularly the part about creating boundaries. I need to do a better job of compartmentalizing my life - work, home, blogging, instead of allowing these things to bleed over into one another.(@Money Smart Life)
Best of the Rest
Frugal Entertainment Rule: You Must Try Redbox
Your Home Office: Ideas To Set Up Your Place of Work
Six Conversational Habits to Ditch Today
Get Your Emergency Fund In Place Now
How Long Does It Take Your Broker to Answer Your Call?
12 Things Every Teenager Needs To Know About Money (And How To Teach Them)
How To Get Rich By Choosing The Right House
The 80/20 Rule and How it Applies to You
Site of the Week
Repair Pal. This week I have had to get some work done on my 19 year-old van. There’s a point where parts are cheaper the older the vehicle gets, and then the curve starts to go up again as things are harder to find. Fortunately, it is a GMC van, and the 1990-1995 parts are still pretty easy to find. RepairPal.com provides estimates for the most frequent repair jobs for your particularl model. The estimates are broad, but it should give you a reference point to help determine if your mechanic is giving you the shaft.
Post from: Frugal Dad
Six Simple Ways To Simplify Your Life
Here lately I’ve been yearning for a simpler life. This is pretty normal for me. I tend to put off getting organized or culling stuff from my life until it reaches a boiling point of frustration and then I go into “purge” mode where I start getting rid of stuff. I’m just about there.
However, this time I’ll try to take a more methodical approach. My wife and kids will appreciate this as they have witnessed far too many Saturday afternoon meltdowns when I couldn’t find something in the garage and go on a three-hour cleaning spree. I’ve started looking for tips to simplify my life, and implementing those a few at a time until things feel more orderly.
Photo courtesy of Wolfgang Staudt
Simple Ways to Simplify Your Life
Clear a thinking space. When our space is cluttered, our mind is cluttered. This step is one that I have put off and sort of tolerated living without until I started trying to organize thoughts on paper. I’ve lived with a messy office and a messy desk for quite a while, and found organization in my clutter (I usually only lost things after cleaning up). But I have discovered writing in a cluttered environment jumbles my thoughts. Remove anything from your space that is distracting. Clear surfaces of clutter. File papers and documents that no longer require your attention. Adopt a one-touch system and force yourself to take action, shred, or file something the first time it touches your hands.
Just say “no.” It’s only two letters, but it is often the most difficult word to say in the English language, especially for “pleasers.” But saying no gracefully is key to simplifying your life because it allows to focus our energy on those commitments that are most important to us. If we dilute that energy by committing to ten different opportunities we aren’t doing ourselves, or those we commit to, any favors.
Simplify your finances. How many credit cards, savings accounts, brokerage accounts and mutual funds do you own? Chances are you are like me and have things scattered all over the place. I’m going to dedicate some time in the near future to consolidating a few accounts so I’ll have less to keep up with. Here are few ways to simplify your finances:
- Scale back to one credit card and a backup.
- Unless you have hundreds of thousands of dollars and are worried about FDIC coverage, consider banking at one institution.
- Consider a target retirement fund rather than a smattering of funds that you have to manage, research and rebalance periodically.
- Put recurring charges and utilities on automatic deduction and opt for paperless statements. It’s one less envelope to enter your home and cause distraction.
Clean out your car. What’s the last thing you see before you walk into the office each morning? What’s the first thing you see when you leave the office in the evening? The inside of your car. If your interior is littered with three stained coffee mugs, fast food wrappers and receipts, then consider taking some time to spruce things up. For those who commute, time spent on the road is often when we do some of our best thinking. It’s also an opportunity to decompress after a long day at the office.
Create an “I Will Do One Thing Today” list. Of course you can do more than one thing, but name at least one thing that you’ve been putting off and do it today. I like to fill this out a day ahead of time (an I will do this tomorrow list, if you will) by declaring a task I’ve been procrastinating on. The last few days my lists looked like this (I have a similar list at work):
- Adjust gate hardware
- Finish taxes
- Put tomato plants in pot
Become a “90-percenter.” Are you one of those people who are always in a rush? I used to be, too. Then I realized that all that time I spent hurrying around was time I could have spent truly enjoying life. At my first job I ran around like a maniac, worked a ton of hours, and basically tried to out-hustle everyone there. I thought I had to because I was one of only a handful of team members who did not have a degree. The hustle paid off, or so I thought. I was soon promoted to a position that required even more work and more hours, but did not come with an equal bounce in pay. I had a toddler at home and one on the way, and it occurred to me that all the hours spent working were hours I was missing watching them grow. That’s when I became a “90-percenter.”
I now work hard to accomplish the top 90% of my priorities each day, but refuse to drive myself past exhaustion to get to the remaining 10% - it takes care of itself in time. I discovered that the remaning 10% wasn’t worth getting an ulcer over, and I could spend that extra quality time with my family.
Post from: Frugal Dad
Have Your Tipping Guidelines Been Affected By The Economy?
Last Friday night I met my wife and kids for dinner after work for the first time in a long, long time. We do not eat out much, and when we do it is typically fast food, or something we pick up and take home to eat. As I was finishing up my meal, I noticed our server clearing another table and as he raked the dollar and change from the table he shook his head in exasperation.
Now, I know cheapskate tippers have been around forever, in good and bad economies. My wife was a waitress in college and told me many horror stories about bad tippers, from those that completely forgot to leave a tip to those that remembered, but only left the bare minimum according to standard tipping guidelines.
I consider myself a generous tipper, and I have continued that trend despite the economic downturn. If the service is particularly good, it isn’t uncommon for me to leave a 15%-20% tip. For exceptional service, I take 10%, double it, and round up or down to the nearest dollar for an even tip. The difference in 10% and 20% is often only a dollar or two, and I figure the person serving my meal could use it more than me.
Of course, as menu prices continue to climb, so does the amount of tips assuming you continue following the same tipping guidelines. Using my calculations, a $40 dinner bill comes with an $8 tip, putting your night out with the family dangerously close to $50. But considering we don’t go out that often, I have no problem paying for outstanding service.
I’m interested to hear from you. Have your tipping guidelines changed recently? Do you work for tips, and if so, have you seen a drop in income?
Post from: Frugal Dad
