Time Readers
The Real Costs Of Depression
It is no secret, I’m sure, to long-time readers that I’ve been floundering a bit the last couple months. My full-time job has been getting the best of me lately, with several project deadlines looming around the end of the year. My Mom’s death in September has made focusing on anything besides grief difficult the last two months, though I have had to try to put one foot in front of the other and get back to a semi-normal routine. Because I am a glutton for punishment, we have also decided to move this month.
“Sadness” by Eric Perrone
While all those factors have conspired to affect motivation in several areas of my life, what has really suffered is my writing. Thanks to a number of close blogging friends, I have had no shortage of guest posts to present here at Frugal Dad (Neal from WealthPilgrim.com is sharing another great one with us this Friday!) since they learned of my mom’s passing. These breaks in the action are welcomed, but I do feel a little guilty for not cranking out material at the pace I once did.
Just yesterday I missed my first Monday post in nearly two years of blogging. I wasn’t motivated to write. I had an incredibly busy weekend of packing and moving boxes, etc, and when I finally sat down late Sunday night at the keyboard there was nothing left. No witty budget concepts. No rants about self-reliance. No new reviews to tell you about. Had I finally run out of things to say?
Fortunately, not yet. I had simply run out of steam. I was losing focus, and not just with my writing. I am not sure if it is depression or just the normal grieving process, but after losing a parent (who also happened to be my best friend, besides my wife), you sort of go through a period of just going through the motions.
I wake up, eat a quick breakfast, kiss the wife and kids and drive to work. I check my email, my to-do list, keep busy, leave in the evenings, play with the kids a while, work on the blog and go to bed. But when I go to bed feeling completely exhausted I can’t recall the specifics of the day. Did I even ask my kids how their day was at dinner? Did I remember to send that status email on the big project at work? Did I remember to pay the utility bill online? And for just a moment, just a split second, I don’t even care. I just want to go to bed to put this day in the books and do it all again tomorrow.
The problem is when you find yourself in one of these funks the days just start to slide by. Life starts happening to you, instead of you being in control. The budget gets relaxed. Old, bad spending habits come to the forefront again. You stray from healthy eating and start refueling on crap from fast food restaurants and vending machines. You distance yourself from loved ones. And the worst part? When you are going through it, you aren’t even aware it is happening.
At some point you snap out of it; like a fog lifting in the middle of the morning. Things start to become meaningful again. It is at this point that you recognize the days have been sliding by, and you start grabbing for moments before they can get by you. Yes, I’ll be at my son’s next football game, and instead of watching alone at the fence down from the bleachers, I’ll be among the other fans cheering for our kids’ team. Yes, I will again be my former productive self at work. Yes, I will balance my checkbook and take a stab at a new budget for the next month. I will re-engage life.
This was really just a long way to say thanks for sticking around during this tough time. I have some exciting ideas for the blog in the coming months, including a few spring projects I think you will enjoy (mostly related to square foot gardening, living off the grid, etc.). I’m going to rededicate myself to getting back to my frugal roots over the next few weeks, and hopefully my writing will reflect that focus.
Finally, if you are reading this and feeling blue, or more than blue, I suggest you talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be a professional, though I would certainly recommend one if you are experiencing signs of depression. Go out to lunch with a close friend and open up about what you’ve been feeling. Sometimes it helps to simply get things off your chest, and let someone else know what you are going through. Whatever you do, don’t ignore the symptoms and let too many days slide by.
Post by Frugal Dad
Weekly Roundup – Random Happenings Edition
Before today’s roundup I’d like to take care of a few housecleaning items – a few personal, and a few blog related. Here’s a look at what’s happening in the life of one frugal dad:
- My full time job has been busier than ever in October. That’s good for job security, but bad for blogging. I’m behind on emails, writing, etc, but am keeping my head above water. If you try to contact me, it might take a few days to get back to you. Thanks for your patience.
- The Frugal Dad Fan Page on Facebook I introduced last Thursday is humming along with 200 fans following. If you missed the announcement, please consider joining us. I try to post something to the wall or discussion board every day, and we’ve already had a few interesting discussions (check out yesterday’s post about the morality of taking hotel toiletries – good stuff!).
- I’m kicking around the idea of a weekly newsletter to be delivered on Saturday mornings, in lieu of weekend posts here at the blog. The newsletter would contain some special features not seen on the blog, along with a unique article or two, a “week in review” section, special deals for newsletter readers, etc. Any interest?
- Long-time readers will remember one of my blogging goals was to reach 7,500 readers. I hit that earlier this year and extended that goal to a big stretch goal of 10,000 readers. As of this writing I’m only a couple hundred away. Could you help me by signing up to follow Frugal Dad if you aren’t already? Thanks to all who have already signed up!
Enough about me, let’s get on to some great articles from others!
The Frugal Roundup
Best Things to Buy in the Fall – Find the Biggest Discounts and Sales on These Items This Fall. Seasonal shoppers can get big discounts just by buying when retailers are looking to move that out of season inventory. (@Generation X Finance)
Dealing With Unemployment Like a Man. Unemployment is hard on anyone, but as this post points out, it’s traditionally been hardest on men. Read on for eleven tips to help you get through it like a man. (@Art of Manliness)
The Zero Hour Workweek. An inspiring ebook from someone who’s getting “paid to exist.” Hat tip to WC of The Writer’s Coin for leading me to this one. (@Illuminated Mind)
How to Have a Ghoulish Halloween for Less. From costumes to decorations (and yes, even frugal candy alternatives), this post covers it all. Frugal (Happy) Halloween! (@Coupon Sherpa)
Follow the Glow. Not sure what it is you should be doing with your life? Simply “follow the glow.” What an inspiring post! (@The Blog of Rick Smith)
10 Free Online Budgeting Applications. A nice run down of some of the more popular free online budgeting applications. I’ve given a number of these a try. (@Lazy Man and Money)
Best of the Rest
- Personal Budgeting Made Easy With the 60% Solution
- What Was the Best $100 You’ve Ever Spent?
- Everyone Is Special and Unique Just the Way They Are
- 10 Surprising Things You Can Turn Into Cash
- 2010 Quicken Deluxe Giveaway
- Why Don’t Most Financial Planners Plan Finances?
Post by Frugal Dad
